Nicholas is the Strategy Projects Director on our team and is known for giving the best/worst advice.
As a part of the We Are blog series, Nicholas is creating an advice column that he will use to answer any of your questions and give anyone who submits his advice. In addition to advice, each segment will include original artwork by Nicholas (not for sale).*
Interviewer: Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse as long as you follow the direction of traffic?
Nicholas: I saw someone do that on the way back from… off topic here… on the way back from Orange County my Sophomore year. There was terrible, terrible traffic, and I saw some guy get on the highway on-ramp, and when he got to the bottom of the on ramp and saw how bad the highway traffic was, he reversed all the way back up the on-ramp, and drove off on the side rode instead of getting on the highway.
N: But anyways, I would say if your seat has a rotation in it, like most seats will move up and down, and back and forth, but if you design a seat where you can rotate it, I mean the front and back of your car aren’t particularly different… I mean there are rear engine cars, and the windows are mostly the same. You’ve got a wiper on each one too, so I would say if you rotate the seat around, I don’t see any problem with that.
I: What about the wheel?
N: You mean the steering wheel? You can just reach behind you, and yeah, everything’s inverted, but you know, if you’ve driven farm machines you’re familiar with rear wheel driving, and so I would say for farm hands it would be easy. You just need to modify your seats a little bit. For the average person, who’s not going to modify their seat, and is not used to rear wheel driving, that’s going to be a little bit difficult. That’s going to be equivalent to running in reverse. I’m sure you could do it, but it’s kind of inconvenient, so yes, I would say it’s legal as long as the police don’t see you. Legal for all as long as the police don’t see you, but if a farm hand does it I would say it’s bonus legal points. You get legal points from the police department, like good job you’re doing things right.
I: Why is vanilla ice cream white?
N: Alright, I know some people aren’t in on this, but it really should be common knowledge by now. The United States government has done a lot of bad things. You know the CIA has done lots of terrible things, especially during the Cold War. We did all sorts of terrible things to other countries, but I don’t think anything is more severe than the conspiracy involving vanilla ice cream perpetrated by our tyrannical lizard people government.
The reality is that the vanilla extract is poisoned. That’s why it’s brown. Brown is the color of poison. It is poisoned with tree sap, and this is true. You put tree sap, and you combine it with vanilla, and labs have proven this all of over the country and around the world, when you combine vanilla and tree sap you get vanilla tree sap. The problem with vanilla tree sap is that it will grow a vanilla tree inside your stomach, and when you have a vanilla tree inside your stomach you die. Vanilla trees kill. Why don’t you see vanilla trees anymore? Why do they have to create vanilla out of non-vanilla trees, and they have to get sap from separate trees? Vanilla trees are 100% lethal. They are killing you with vanilla trees. Vanilla is naturally white. Ice cream is your friend. The food companies are your friend. The government hates you.
*The W.A.R. Lords are not responsible for any consequences that result from taking this advice