Nicholas is the Strategy Projects Director on our team and is known for giving the best/worst advice.
As a part of the We Are blog series, Nicholas is creating an advice column that he will use to answer any of your questions and give anyone who submits his advice. In addition to advice, each segment will include original artwork by Nicholas (not for sale).*
Interviewer: Pineapple or pen?
Nicholas: Whoever you are your memes are the worst. You’re stale. Never contact me again.
I: What are your feelings on premature Christmas lighting?
N: Is it premature Christmas lighting or is it grossly post-mature Christmas lighting? We have a neighbor that keeps their Christmas lights up all year, and they’re just generic festive lighting. I don’t think you’re ever too early, you’re always too late. So you’re not too early for this year, you’re too late for last year. You’re not 5 minutes late to work, you’re 18 hours early to work the next day. That’s just how it works.
I: Assume you have a 90% grade in a class. The last test is a 100-point quiz, which you haven’t studied for. What do you do?
N: Well, let’s get something clear here: I don’t study for tests. If you do, you’re a nerd! But, if you really want to take that route, and you’re really concerned you might get a B+ in that class, I think you need to seriously reexamine where your priorities are.
N: I would say it depends on the time. If it’s the night before, go to bed. Don’t bother studying; you won’t get anything out of it. You might as well sleep, and fail fully conscious. The other thing you could do, if it’s the morning of and you were stupid and tried to study and now you feel like you don’t know anything, reach into your left pocket, and pull out your wallet. Open your wallet. Open the slot in the back with the cash in it. Grab the largest bill you have, and slip it in between the pages of the test. Repeat for each page. If you run out of money, start putting credit cards in. When you run out of those, start putting in whatever else you have. If you can fill all the pages, you win. If you win, you don’t fail.
*The W.A.R. Lords are not responsible for any consequences that result from taking this advice