Nicholas is the Strategy Projects Director on our team and is known for giving the best/worst advice.
As a part of the We Are blog series, Nicholas is creating an advice column that he will use to answer any of your questions and give anyone who submits his advice. In addition to advice, each segment will include original artwork by Nicholas (not for sale).*
Interviewer: Would you travel to Mars if someone gave you a round-trip ticket?
Nicholas: I’d travel to Mars if someone gave me a one-way ticket. If I had a round-trip ticket, that would suck, because then I’d have to come back to Earth. If I had a one-way ticket I’d live out the rest of my life on Mars and moon the Earth as it came over the horizon each time, and nobody would be there to stop me. That would be pretty cool. I could go make friends with the rovers there. Keep them as pets. That would be chill.
N: Maybe a round-trip ticket, but only if I had the option of not taking it on the way back, because then it’s basically a one-way ticket. So if I was only offered a round-trip ticket, I would take it if I could abandon the second leg, but if I really had to come back after a certain time period, especially if that time period was really short and I didn’t get to spend a lot of time on Mars, that would be kind of a tease.
I: Wouldn’t you just hide?
N: You might be obligated. I’m no rocket scientist; I don’t know how it would be enforced. I just want to spend the rest of my life on Mars peacefully, not in breach of any agreement that was made. Or at least a long portion of it. Maybe I’d come up eventually. If it was a round-trip ticket like “hey you get to spend 20 years!”, then maybe that works, but if it’s a round-trip ticket that’s like a day then no.
I: I’ve been spending too much time in the Shop and my grades are plummeting, what should I do?
N: Mill your math homework. I think a common problem is that you do your math homework, with eraser smudges and like your handwriting, it can be hard for teachers to see what you’re doing. I think the Mill offers a unique opportunity to permanently engrave your answers and permanently solidify them for the benefit of your math teacher, because then there would be no confusion about what you had written on the page, because even if your math teacher was blind, they could simply feel your math homework, and they would understand what you’d done. I think that would be a massive improvement to your grades, and I think you would be able to combine 2 things and improve the quality of your work.
*The W.A.R. Lords are not responsible for any consequences that result from taking this advice